“Many people like to think that they’ll find balance AFTER they find success. But in reality, achieving balance IS success.“ Brian Koslow
If we are to make wise choices, we need to be “in balance.” As I use it, that means that we cannot be constantly subject to all kinds of pulls and pushes, pressures from one aspect of life, pulls from another, so that it is difficult for us to focus on what we truly value. The pulling and pushing can keep us permanently unbalanced if we allow it.
As my late coach and mentor, Shale Paul, put it:
“It’s awfully hard to remain on-balance if someone or something is constantly tugging at you, but that’s just what some friends, acquaintances, and circumstances do. The normal tendency in such cases is to humor, tolerate, and excuse them. Wrong! Gaining or regaining balance in one’s life requires that one be ruthless in eliminating influences that would push or pull one off center. Tough to do, but absolutely essential.”
Each of us, separately, must make up our own mind as to where our priorities are, and we must decide how to act on them without having another part of our lives come tumbling down like a house of cards. This calls for a lot of self-examination, and perhaps discussion with neutral others. It is important that, to start with, the discussion be with someone who does not have “skin in the game.” Of course it is good to discuss our decisions with those who will be affected – family, loved ones, friends – but after we have done some independent thinking and decision-making. An unbiased person can listen, and ask the questions that will help us to sort out where we stand, what comes first. Then we can more easily handle the pulls and pushes, and so make wise and balanced choices that are in sync with our own values and our own dreams and goals.
If any of this triggers thoughts and concerns for you, feel free to contact me for that free 30-40 minute phone coaching call. You never know, it might be a big help – and I promise that the focus will be solely on you, without any sales pitch for my coaching.