“You don’t live, choose, or manage your life in a vacuum. It happens in a context called the world” Phillip C. McGraw
On other pages I have written about topics that I see as important in relation to choice, but here I am looking at the basic foundation for most of our choices – the context in which we are making them. As Dr. Phil points out, we very rarely choose in a vacuum. Usually our choices relate to our real world, and are made in the context of that world. As adults, our more important decisions are not usually made based solely on “I wanna…,” although a few may be. However, we need to consider the context when making choices that will have more long-term effects. If we fail to do so, there is a good chance that our choices will be less than wise.
Whether we are making thoughtful choices for our future lives, or instantaneous decisions based on what is happening around us at that moment, the context foundations consist very largely consist of the “5W and an H” beloved of news reporters – who, what, why, when, where and, of course, the all-important How. Some examples that we may need to ask ourselves:
WHY are you making this choice?
Exactly WHAT are you hoping for? And WHAT are the various options open to you, from which you need to choose one?
WHAT will you need to bring about a successful result?
WHO is affected by this choice… and HOW?
HOW do they feel about it, and how seriously do you need to consider their reaction?
HOW will you proceed with whatever choice you make? Do you have – or can you get – the resources that you will need?
WHEN will you make up your mind? WHEN will you take whatever action is needed? WHEN will you get to the results you are planning for?
For example, if you are buying a house, or looking for somewhere to rent, you obviously need to know something about buying or renting houses. You are wise to know a bit about the neighborhood. Does it have what you want? Decent schools? Recreation areas? Low crime? All that is obvious. Yet we often make even important decisions based on very little solid information, just because “it feels right.” I am never one to speak against intuition. I value it. However, there are some things on which I need more concrete information. A new job? Sure, it feels right and you left the interview feeling all warm and happy. Have you check the salary? The medical coverage if any? What’s the overtime situation? How much may you have to travel? Are you salaried or exempt?
Out of the frying pan choices
Seriously, few of us would accept a new job without getting answers to those questions. Yet how often do we make weighty, life-changing decisions based more on what we are trying to get away from than what we are going to? “Out of the frying pan into the fire” is a popular saying for good reason. Unless our lives are in danger, we do not have to make a decision without “doing our due diligence” as the legal phrasing puts it. Choosing to leave a situation without doing due diligence about where we are going to can indeed be “out of bad and into the worse.” So I urge that, while you may choose a jar of jam in the grocery store without exploring any other option than the flavor you like best, when it comes to more important choices, doing some serious research can be a very good idea. If you don’t, and it doesn’t work out, try not to blame anyone other than yourself.
Some other things to consider…
What is your past history relating to the choice? What led up to it? Have your made similar choices before? How did that work out?
Be aware that psychological research has shown that we are far more susceptible to influences from around us than we realize as we choose. Magicians count on manipulating the context and environment before they ask you to “Choose a card, any card.” That “any” is often a lie. They are skilled at influencing our choice toward one specific card without us even knowing it.
What is not knowable
Of course, there are some things that we cannot know. On the road we cannot know for sure what the drivers in front of, beside, and behind us are thinking. We can hope that they are conscientiously obeying the rules of the road and are as aware as we are (you are, aren’t you?) of what is happening in the area. The choices we have to make if something goes awry in such a situation may be instantaneous, but, once again, it will help if we are fully aware of what is where and how fast. Knowing which is our safest “escape point” at any specific moment is part of our context when we are in motion. Knowing that can save lives (and is one reason why I am alive today). Being aware of our context is one reason for not allowing ourselves to get distracted because that context can change with every passing second.
What are the moving parts?
To increase your ability to be a wise choice-maker, think carefully. Envision all the “moving parts” that make up the context of your choice and its long-term effects. Do not think only of the advantages of your final choice but also of the disadvantages. Think about what it will take to get there. Also think the advantages and disadvantages of NOT making the alternative choices. But do not allow yourself to over-think all the variables. Be aware of them, but do not drown in them. Do not allow yourself to experience choice-paralysis. Yes, it takes thought, and it takes balance.